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Why You Shouldn't Root for the Oilers

First off, Connor McDavid is not the ideal person to be the face of the NHL. He has the vibes of a serial killer. I mean, come on! Anybody that still has these socks deserves to be put in the same category as Ted Cru--I mean, the Zodiac Killer.

What's worse is that he's proud of always wearing these socks. It's like he's a knight gone mad from the medieval days and you gave him a pair of new socks. He'd just shrug them off and say, "Oh no, sire. I doth not mess up mine routine. I hath unpure kin to slay at 12 o'clock."

People hate on Sidney Crosby all the time. But you have to give him credit for not being a time-traveling styleless goober serving under King Arthur. Hell, look at this hat that the Penguins legend can pull off!

Photo from NESN

Now that's a look that Pittsburgh and the NHL can get behind. Maybe Crosby can get that for LeBron James and his receding hairline. Hopefully, No. 87 can get McDavid some new socks and send him back to his time machine. FINGERS CROSSED!

Speaking of time machines, that's what Edmonton is stuck in. The Oilers haven't been relevant since the 1980s. Of course, that was thanks to Wayne Gretzky and not Dave Semenko pummeling people. People forget that Edmonton won five Stanley Cups with Gretzky, which is how sorry this franchise truly is.

The fact that even having The Great One doesn't even move the relevance needle makes this franchise pathetic. Do people even care that McBoring's on the team or that he might stake out in front of your bed to suffocate you with a pillow? Everyone knows he'll make like Gretzky and bolt Alberta once the summer of 2026 rolls around. Will he be in Toronto, Hollywood, or the Big Apple? WHO KNOWS!

There's no franchise that deserves recognition less than the Oilers. Even with McDavid AND Leon Draisaitl, Edmonton will find a way to screw everything up. I guarantee this'll be a team that never returns to the Stanley Cup. You could have a team of McDavid, Draisaitl, Auston Matthews, Linus Ullmark, Eric Karlsson, AND Cale Makar all in Edmonton at the same time. Guess what? They'll still find a way to choke in the second round.

NHL's most surprisingly anonymous franchise and its choking are why you should stay away from Edmonton. There's nothing lost if you avoid them like the Coronavirus. I promise.

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