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Why You Shouldn't Root for the Hawks

Halle Bailey was given the role of Ariel for the upcoming live-action remake, The Little Mermaid. The one half of Chloe and Halle made history in this aspect while simultaneously riling up a bunch of Karens.

However, I think the live-action version will bomb. Why? No, it's not because of her skin color. It's because she's from Georgia. The state of Georgia is notorious for choking under the spotlight and Halle will be no different. She's bound to choke enough that she'll be replaced by our queen, Zendaya, for the sequel.

Just look at what happened in Super Bowl LI. The New England Patriots were down 28-3 in the third quarter before coming all the way back to beat the Falcons in overtime. That became one of the most infamous moments in Super Bowl history, leaving a skidmark on the Falcons' team legacy. Atlanta also choked against the Dallas Cowboys and Chicago Bears in recent years, too.

It isn't just the Dirty Birds, though. It's also the Georgia Bulldogs choking against Alabama in January 2018 in the National Championship. It's also the Atlanta Braves squandering an 8.5-game lead in the NL East with 26 games to go in 2011. Yes, the success of the Braves and Bulldogs is deterring this notion. But the Peach State almost always chokes on contact in the big moment.

Just think about how cool it would be to have ARIEL and SPIDERMAN dating, too! Goddamn Peter Parker!! Minds would be blown. Stans would have their heads spinning. Zendaya's gonna be Tom Brady and the New England Patriots for the sequel, coming in to get the job done. Anyways...

So what does this have to do with the Atlanta Hawks? It's the sheer fact that they'll eventually choke in the big moment, too. The Hawks are a team destined to NEVER win an NBA title, no matter how many times they try. I guarantee Trae Young will commit 20 turnovers in a span of a half of a Game 7, costing the Hawks an NBA Championship against the Golden State Warriors.

Being an Atlanta sports fan is pain unless you love the Braves. All your city knows is wilting under pressure and blowing the big moment. That's why you should stay far away from the Atlanta Hawks.

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